Weekly insights for women who are ready to feel grounded, regulated, and resourced.
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This week's hot topic π₯
This week we're talking about the most annoying cover up in history - 'being fine'
Hey Reader
We're in the thick of the school summer holidays over here in the Young household. That's 7 weeks of attempting to not have to remortgage for the sake of holiday clubs, trying to balance limited annual leave with spending actual quality time with our kid, and not burning through snacks and ipad time like a match.
And it's got me thinking about a question of the mum's asked me at Ada's final pickup last week, a pretty emotional day anyway but also one I had crammed 400 b2b meetings into. Smart.
She asked me how things are with the house move and work and Ada leaving school etc... and I said 'Oh, I'm fine'
But dear reader, the truth is that I wasn't. At that moment I was actually on the edge of either crying or sending a regrettable teams message to someone at work who was getting on my nerves. And so here I am, using my voice memo app to record this weeks newsletter whilst Ada plays in the park and I have a word with myself.
You see, there is a particular kind of woman who never quite makes it onto anyone's radar for support. I am her, and so are you.
She delivers at work. She shows up for her family. She's the person other people lean on when things get hard. From the outside, she looks like she is managing. Some would even say smashing it.
And she is. That is almost the whole problem.
High-functioning stress is invisible by design. Because you're still hitting your targets, still answering messages, still turning up. Nobody pulls you aside to check in because there is no obvious sign that anything is wrong. You do not look like someone who needs help. You're stood in the playground smiling, making jokes, and looking like you're loving life.
But underneath the functioning, something else is happening. The sleep that doesn't restore you. The enjoyment that seems to have left most things. The sense of going through motions you used to care about. The feeling that you are one more 'thing' away from the edge.
You are not fine babe. You are coping. And those are not the same thing. Trust me I know, I lived in that space mentally (and physically) for YEARS. And I am catching myself here, in the park recording this, before I head down that road again.
The first step is just knowing where you actually are. Not where you are performing, not where you look from the outside. Where you genuinely are right now.
I made a free quiz for exactly this. It takes less than 3 minutes and it will tell you whether what's going on in your nervous system, and what to do next.
Link is below. Take it honestly.
Your nervous system has a type
Find out what it is
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